Roast Dinners Around The World

Celebrate good times for Roast Dinners Around The World, and hence our excellent British cuisine, has made it to eastern Europe, in the form of Bob’s Kitchen in Budapest.

I dream of a time where roast dinners are available everywhere in the world, like pizza, curry and corrupt politicians.

Alas, Budapest was not a jolly.

I was here to get rid of my crystal meth teeth.

30 injections.
7 fillings.
8 teeth out.
1 bone graft.
20 stitches.

Fuck me that was an experience – even worse than eating overcooked beef in a shitty Irish bar on the Algarve. Anyone for scrambled egg every day?

Bob Monkhouse

You know how people ask what your last meal on death row would be?

Well, I hadn’t planned a roast dinner to be my last meal before 4 hours of drilling, hammering (what the fuck is that hammer on my teeth about?), yanking, etc, though also whilst having some cute Hungarian dentist assistants by my side. They were supposed to do it over two days, but on the Monday announced they could do it all in one afternoon. Surprise!

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Could this be my last roast dinner for weeks?

It’s quite possible that Bob’s Kitchen do a roast dinner every day, something that the grand total of about 2 places in the whole of London manage.

Though imagine my shock when I saw the price – 7,250 OMGs, or Forints as I think they are called in the land of Puskás. Though a bit of currency conversion takes it to around £15.00.

Roast of the day was a choice between turkey or pork, I struggled to decide and the waitress suggested maybe turkey. And that was my choice. Always do what the Hungarians suggest, especially but not only if they are replacing your crystal meth teeth. I’ve never really smoked crystal meth, don’t worry, mum. Pretty much everything else however…

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Bob Hoskins

Beer choice was pretty rubbish considering the amount of good breweries in Budapest…of which I cannot visit any because beer has bacteria and is therefore banned for a few days for me.

I had some Italian lager that I’d never heard of – I was tempted to have a Tennant’s just for a laugh, though in retrospect I should have had a red wine. But I was on holiday mouth torture tour, and I needed beer whilst I could.

Starting with the carrots…OHHHHH.

STOP.

Stop everything. Stop the blog.

Ahhh, isn’t he cute? Yep, the dog seemed to belong here, and was just gorgeous though also very chilled.

Right, starting with the carrots, which were nicely roasted and tasted of carrots, which is kind of useful.

Bob Holness

Parsnips were anaemic-looking and a tad undercooked, yet were still really tasty – they still had plenty of nuttiness about them, and were clearly in season.

Cabbage was a bit whatever, but in a positive sense – it was drained properly (yeah looking at you watery London roast dinners), soft and worked well with the gravy.

There was plenty of mashed potato, which seems to be far more of a thing on roast dinners outside of the UK. It was decent, no great shakes, soft and quite fluffy – not especially creamy.

Three small roast potatoes which didn’t especially look the part but were fluffy inside, and tasted decent.

Oops, I meant to put a different angle of the roast dinner in, don’t want to slag off the leader of Hungary, Vladimir Putin, too much, as I need to come back here next year for my implants.

Bob Bob Bobbin Along

What else is left to talk about?

The turkey was probably the least enjoyable part – one of those turkey crowns, it was a tad overcooked, one slice I think was the end bit and definitely less succulent then I’d like it. But also it was sufficiently decent.

On the flip side, the Yorkshire pudding was astounding – far better than every Yorkshire pudding I’ve had in London in 2024. A really nice structure, so fluffy inside – this was literally and I literally need to stop mis-using that word, the golden standard for Yorkshire puddings. Best Yorkshire pudding in the world? Possibly. I cannot stress how excellent this was.

Whoa, I nearly forgot the stuffing, though there was only a small bit. It was a bit coarse, but also pleasing – a nice herby accompaniment to the turkey and gravy.

Finally, the gravy was thick, it had a slightly meaty vibe, and more was offered before I even asked of it. Yeah, it was good gravy.

Bob’s Kitchen

I have to say I was pleasantly surprised about this – better than any roast dinner I’ve had in London in the last few months – five months in fact, as the end of April was the last one I really rated, and that might not even count to you as that was an Indian “Sunday roast”.

Good gravy and an astoundingly excellent Yorkshire pudding meant that I was willing to overlook (somewhat) the dry turkey. Everything else was decent, vegetables and potatoes, without rocking the boat.

Bob’s Kitchen itself was a nice little restaurant, kind of reminded me more of a brunch spot in Chiswick than the kind of place you might get a roast dinner abroad, which lets face it are often shitholes still stuck in 1993, but no, Bob’s Kitchen has a light and airy feel to it.

The roast dinner falls a little short of an 8, which is my mark of excellence – a 7.85 feels about right, which makes it the second best roast dinner in the world (outside of the UK), at the time of writing.

And that is it for Roast Dinners Around The World in 2024. No more holidays, no more mouth torture tours. I will be back in 2025 – but where? USA? Canada? Dubai? Costa Del Overcooked Meats?

I have no other recommendations from Budapest, because, well I cannot eat much. However, the broccoli gratin from the local Spar is pretty much my diet now, really rather yummy. Oh for cheese. Oh for beer. Oh for potatoes that are not mashed. Oh for my mouth not to be swollen to fuck. Oh for Putin to fuck off.